Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
