mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
