no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
