My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
