You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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