Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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