my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
