this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
