dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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