I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
