I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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