Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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