She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize