Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
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