I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
