how can u be prego again
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
