I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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