I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize