She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
