Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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