I bet he comes in French.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
