do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
