can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
