Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Operation Purity has been aborted
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
