I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
foreskin is a definite game changer
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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