I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize