I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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