You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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