:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
