He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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