Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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