you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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