you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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