It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
