Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
