time to smoke my breakfast
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
