I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I could fuck to npr.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
