Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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