what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
