uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
