Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize