Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize