Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
COCAINE IS GR8
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
