OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
