Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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