Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
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He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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