His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
