Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
