You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
