go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
