My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
