is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think i got beer on your cat.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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