Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
