is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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