Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The air was thick with penises
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
