therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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