This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
