where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
