it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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