im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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