remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
