i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
