just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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